Ladies who work in the adult industry are generally lovely people and can be easy to fall in love with. Ladies more often than not genuinely enjoy the time they spend with you. Most of the times in a booking, the warmth, caring, conversations and laughs you share with a lady are real and not a show put on by the lady. However, just because she enjoys spending time with you as you enjoy spending time with her, does not mean she is able to be your friend.

Ladies need to keep a professional distance to maintain sanity and security. If you push a lady to be your friend it will usually aggrevate her, make her feel pressured and get her upset to the point she will refuse to see you anymore.

Things to realise before pushing a lady for a personal relationship

a lady needs to charge you because she needs to pay rent. Often she may not want too, but she has NO choice. If she is spending time with you for free, that is time she is unable to see someone else so may not be able to pay rent, Uni fees, send money back home to family in Asia etc. It's not personal, it's just a sad fact of life.
if a lady is caught seeing you for free or at a discount, she can be fined, fired or experience very serious consequences from other girls in the establishment or other private workers. Sex workers call this undercutting, establishments call it stealing - both are frowned upon in a BIG way.
she may already have a partner, children, family living at home so she is unable to have a relationship and/or friendship. A lady will often not tell you of her personal life because she needs to keep that private for her own safety. Just because you may not be a freak, does not mean she has not many in the past and is not prepared to risk the lives of the people she loves
if a lady see's you for free, it will mess with her headspace. Many ladies do not wish to make clients friends or have relationships with them because it can be extremely depressing, cause great anxiety and cost her everything. Going out with a client comes at a massive personal cost to a lady. You are asking her to give up an awful lot, so be sure your intentions are genuine, well though thru and you are prepared to support her throughout the duration of the relationship.

Issues to think about

stalking - if you push a lady for a personal relationship and wont let it go she will consider this stalking. If the lady does not say yes to a friendship or relationship it's best not to call her continuously asking for one, best not to send her emails all the time and get pissed off if she doesn't reply, best not to go thru her mail or garbage bin to find out her real name, best not to ask her to many personal questions, best not to see her all the time and every time you do ask her to see you for coffee etc.
a working lady will generally have a higher expectation of behaviour from her friends and partners. If she feels you have disrespected her, she feels like you're messing with her mind, she will disappear.
a working lady will often approach relationships differently from a non working lady. Some ladies may not want to spend day after day with the same person because personal space and time can be very important to a lady who has worked. A lady may have work pressure to deal with so may not be able to be happy and bubbly as she is in bookings in her personal life. Her personality may change somewhat if you have a personal relationship with her.

Consequences of not being able to take no for an answer

expect to be call screened so she will never pick up a phonecall from you again. It is not advisable to borrow friends phones to call her or get a new pre-paid sim everyday. She will continue to put your different phone numbers into her phone, get more and more angry at you that you are being sneaky and trying to trick her. When you start engaging in this behaviour, a lady will consider it stalking.
expect not to have your emails answered
if you stalk a lady there are legal avenues she can take to deal with it. Ladies can keep diaries describing behaviours and what's going on. She is then able to apply for an AVO which is a SERIOUS issue.
expect never to see her again in a professional capacity
expect to have your name, phone number and email address shared with other ladies. If a lady feels she has been stalked, she may give your details to friends if she considers you a time waster or dangerous

Things to think about if you're in a personal relationship with a working lady

it's not a good idea to push a lady to give up work. If you ask a lady to give up work for you, she is giving up her dreams and her goals. If she does give up for you, she will have no money to go out, will have no straight job to walk into and if she has been working for a long time as a sex worker, it may be hard for her to get a straight job.
If she gives up work for you, she will lose all of her friends and support base because sex workers often stop talking to their friends to become workers and when they leave sex work, they will often stop talking to other sex workers. She may be completely isolated so will need extra support and understanding around this issue.
the sex you have had with the lady may change. Don't think she likes you any less if she doesn't want to have sex with you every minute of the day like she use to as a sex worker. If you want us to be normal, expect us to act normally as other woman do.

How to go about getting into a relationship and/or friendship with a lady

be happy, be friendly and just relax. It will happen if it's meant to. I would wait for the lady to make an offer of going for coffee to see you personally. Most ladies I know who have been in relationships have one day turned around at the end of the booking and said "here's your money back and here's my personal number. Please don't call my work phone anymore if you want to see me".
if you want to offer a lady coffee to let her know you're available that's fine, but I'd offer it once and once only. She will remember you asked her and if she ever finds herself in a situation where she's able to have more with you, then you have given her permission to let you know.
if a lady says she would like to have you as a friend but can't find the time, don't get pissed off at her, yell at her and pressure her. She may genuinely want more, but due to current life circumstances can't do it right then and there. If you push her or scream at her for it, she willl get very cranky and decide against friendship.

Horror Stories

they will have an element of men going thru their garbage bin, googling their phone number, turning up on their door step with no booking, dropping presents off with the Concierge without the ladies permission or knowledge, hanging around her units, going thru her cupboards, reading a ladies mail, going thru a ladies laptop, asking a lady her real name, stalking her virtually online, calling her 20 times or more in one day, sending her 5 emails or more in one day, blackmail, threats, asking her to give you money to invest on her behalf because you want to rescue her and help her with her future, telling her her life is crap and you can help her change it, telling her she is better than a hooker and she should stop being a sex worker because it degrades her or she is capable of more, passing judgements on her profession and other girls in it, telling her who her client base should be, calling a lady on the way home in the car to tell her what you've been up to all day (we are not your wives and get offended if you treat us as one especially if you already have one), telling us about your wife or girlfriend and how much you love them and the different kinds of sex you have with them and all the things you share in life etc.
the justifications are always horrid as well like: I googled your business name and did a business search to help you so I could demonstrate how easy it is for anyone to find out your mothers home address, phone number, work phone number and what you do for a straight job - STALKING, CREEPY and a blatant THREAT! I called you 50 times yesterday because I was having a really bad day and I feel like you owe me some understanding because I have helped you out with bookings so often in the past - yerr right!
the worst horrors are from gents who push ladies into giving up work. Emotional, mental and financial games are THE WORST!

How often does the Pretty Woman story actually happen

VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY RARELY! It does happen, but RARELY!

Just remember

Being with you will cost the lady dearly more often than not. Be kind, be generous, be understanding and leave her with happy memories, happy thoughts and gifts to see her thru the hard times once you leave. People see sex workers for a reason. They then enter into relationships with ladies for the same reason most of the time. Whether it be you need someone to rebuild your self esteem after a divorce, someone to listen to you and cuddle you if something bad has happened recently, you may be lonely... whatever the reason, just be aware that once the reason is no longer there, you may no longer have need for your lady. It's the same as you may go thru binges of punting for one reason or another, get it out of your system or solve the issues that is making you feel the need to punt, so you stop punting.

written by Sydney Escort Lucy Blake; site design and maintenance by Lucy Blake; Copyright Lucy Blake www.lucy-blake.com 2009 - 2011