Time Wasters are one of a sex workers most annoying and distressing drama's to deal with. We'll write about it here to try and help people understand what they are, why people do it, how you can recognise them and what to do about it when you realise you have one.

Much of what follows will apply to email communication as well as to phone, voice and text

Why do they do it?

The reason we bother to wonder why they do it, helps sex workers to understand how to combat it. For example if it's a power issue, we know not to respond to them by giving them the reaction they want because this will give them the power they are after.

In the case of no-shows without a genuine reason (job, sickness, family etc):
- the "power" thing - gets off from having the girl going to all the trouble of getting ready, knowing that you are waiting for them when they have no intention of being there

- making the booking is the fantasy itself, it is not necessary to actually visit in order to achieve the desired satisfaction

- boredom - some guys may be bored at work or home and calling you may help them to pass the time of day

- gossip - some guys may call purely to get gossip to discuss with other men on forums or punters coffee clubs

- nasty- some guys may do it purely because they are nasty and get off on knowing they are bugging the shit out of you and upsetting you

- to make friends - some guys find sex workers and the adult industry fascinating but for one reason or another will never see a sex worker. They engage in the industry by trying to make friends with sex workers

How to spot a Timewaster
Warning signs may include:

- asking for explicit photos to be sent

- asking for a picture of your face

- asking for details that are prominently displayed on your website and when you ask him to read your website and call you back, he says he doesn't have access to the internet - ummm how did he get your phone number then?!

- sending pictures of their genitals

- continuing to email or phone to "talk some more about the booking", especially after the booking has already been made

- want to talk at length about longer bookings and the possibility of what might happen on an overnighter without actually making a booking

- want to talk about you becoming his regular when he hasn't even seen you a first time

- want to talk at length about what will happen as this is his first time. Questions may include what will you be wearing, what will you do to me and tell me step by step EVERYTHING you will do to me, do you have toys and what toys do you have and what will you do with them, what's your favourite sex position, what's the best place you ever had sex, do you have sex with your boyfriend and then fuck a client and get him to lick your boyfriends cum out of your cunt blaaah blaaaah. They will generally ask a combination if not ALL of these questions.

- tells you he is a Virgin and really nervous and then goes on to ask for BBBJ's, anal, CIM, COF, PSE

- wants to tell you how good looking, well endowed he is

- wants to tell you what a good lover he is and what he will do for you

- obvious junior caller asking how much for a f**k etc

- making it part of a masturbation fantasy - you will be able to spot these usually because the guy will be breathing funny, speaking in a set rythm and a set tone of voice and may not be responding like you would in a normal conversation (long pauses)

- wanting to talk for ages on the phone without making a booking

- calling multiple times without making a booking

- making bookings multiple times then cancelling the booking at the last minute on or around the day of the booking. This leads to a cycle of making a booking, cancelling, making a booking, cancelling over and over again.

- asking you personal questions like "do you like what you do for a living", "what do you do for a job in your straight life", "do you have a boyfriend or husband" etc

- if you inform the guy on the phone you're unable to answer any more of his question or talk any longer because your in public or you're busy and he keeps wanting to talk and asks more questions, then chances are he is a time waster. Genuine clients will respect your life and your feelings and will agree to talk to you later.

- ask where he found you - when I advertised on Cracker I only received time waster and nuisance calls. When I advertised in the Adult Services Guide (put out by the Courier Newspaper Group) I got nothing but time wasters and nuisance calls. If there is a pattern with one particular advertising medium sending you time waster or nuisance calls, then be aware if someone calls you from there it may be another time waster. These may vary from lady to lady because I hate Cracker but I have spoken to several ladies who swear by it. Be aware of where you advertise and the type of calls it brings you so you know to not advertise there and know to be on gaurd until you advertising runs out.

And your response ...

The response to such callers should never be to encourage them, even inadvertantly.

- do not respond with shock or anger - that is probably the response the caller is after, it only re-inforces his behaviour

- do not blow a high pitched whistle into the mouthpiece or use any other similar device because he may do the same to you

- never carry on any form of conversation with an obvious timewaster or any other type of nuisance caller - especially never answer any questions of a personal nature

- don't say I'm too busy to talk right now - implies that you might be prepared to talk at some other time

- don't ever knowingly call back as it might indicate to the caller that you are interested in some way

- don't indicate an impediment is present to their suggestion (you have a boyfriend at the moment, or there is someone in the room with you now) as this might indicate you will be more receptive to the approach at some other time

- don't try to let them down easily or gently discourage them as you will be needlessly prolonging the relationship and this extra time gives the caller hope that he is succeeding

- do not return unsolicited gifts or letters for you are then making a connection with the sender

- don't feel obliged to talk to them because you don't want to hurt their feelings. They don't care about yours - if they did they wouldn't be harassing you in the first place

- if you are in doubt, tell them to make a booking. If they refuse, tell them you are unable to carry on the discussion.

Types of nuisance calls

As far as the nature of nuisance calls are concerned these are the most common:

- hang-up calls - you hear the caller put down the receiver and then the busy tone as soon as you answer

- silence calls - caller holds the line open and does not speak

- obscene - uses abusive or obscene language or just heavy breathing

- threatening - making actual threats or implying something could happen

- hoax calls - pretending to order a taxi, take-away food etc, or pretending to be some particular individual or represent some particular organisation

- computer generated - these deliver the fax or modem signal noise to you rather than the caller's voice

- jerk off calls - guy is sitting their jerking off while talking to you

- boredom calls - guy is having a boring day at work or home and is sitting there trying to keep you on the phone to kill some time

- gossip calls - guy calls to talk to you about what is happening in the industry or on forums to gather gossip to tell other people on forums or in their punters get togethers

- personal calls - these guys call and ask questions like "do you like what you do for a living, do you have a straight job, do you have a boyfriend, where do you go to Uni" blaaah blaaah

- nervous calls - these guys like the idea of punting but for one reason or another wont take the leap of faith

- friendly calls - these guys want to be "friends" with sex workers, but never actually see sex workers. They may be curious about the industry, ladies in it, and find it all very fascinating, but they never have any intention of making a booking.

- call me back calls - these guys will usually open with "I haven't got enough credit on my phone so can you call me back"

What to do with nuisance calls

If it is just an isolated incident, with respect to any particular caller, there is not much you can do other than make a note of the caller's telephone number (see below).

However, if any sort of pattern or repeat behaviour seems to be present you should attempt to record as much of the following information as possible, for use with your telephone service provider or the police if necessary.

Make a note of the following if the caller is threatening or gives you the creeps and you want to report it to an Ugly Mug Forum or friends

- caller's telephone number
- isolated instance or one of a series
- if possible make a note of the actual words spoken or the general content of the call. If he swaps phone numbers in a few months time and calls you back, the only way you will be able to screen him is through his story.
- date
- time
- duration
- sex of caller
- approximate age
- any discernible accent
- any speech impediment
- loud or quiet voice
- fast or slow talker
- calm, excited, emotional etc
- well spoken or inarticulate
- incoherent
- irrational
- abusive
- was the voice recognizable
- did he seem to know you, or about you
- was he aware where you were at the time of the call
- any background noises (street, machinery, music etc)

So how does this all come together / what's the point of doing all of the above? I'll give you an example.

Many time wasters and nuisance callers may swap phone numbers so you can't screen them that way. Many nuisance callers will however stick to the same script when talking to you eg......

there is a guy who says he is staying at the Park Hyatt in The Rocks, he is here on holidays, he spent the day on the harbor on his speed boat, he wants an outcall to the Hyatt, asks what your favourite champagne is, asks you to bring music, speaks with a deep voice, older gent, English accent, good grammar, sounds very well educated, speaks quite slowly but not in a jerking off way. Calls from a mobile and when you ask him for his room number he is quite happy to give it to you but wont give you his last name to call him back in his room and says his mobile number should be enough. At this your warning buttons should be going off so as a check you ask him to read the hotels phone number and address off some stationary in the room so you can have the address to tell the taxi driver to get to him. He will say he has used it all and there is nothing with the Hotels phone number or address on it in the room. If you insist on it he says there is someone at his door and hangs up in your ear. If you then call the hotel to verify the room actually exists, you will find there is no room 807 in the Hyatt. SAME SAME EVERY SINGLE PHONECALL! By remembering the dialogue/story, you will remember him no matter how many different numbers he calls on.

If he swaps stories you should try your hardest to remember the tone of his voice, his mannerisms, accent and any words he may use. Believe it or not, most ladies with a bit of practice can identify callers (regulars and time wasters) with ease.

What to do on receipt of the call

- simply hang up without responding

- issue a warning " I know that your number is xxxxx. I will be laying a complaint with Telstra - or Optus, or Vodaphone, or the police - so do not call me again." Especially effective if you have their telephone number.

- if the call is judged to be seriously life threatening then call the police

- stick the number in your phone so you can call screen them in the future - they WILL call you more than once. I have numbers in my phone from 5 years ago who call me twice a year for a catch up nuisance call.

- swap the phone number with other sex workers

- tell him you are sorry but you are unable to take his calls any longer and wont be answering again - try and keep it as polite as you can or avoid this type of confronatation if you can, because he could call you back with a different number, make a booking and bash the shit out of you. Try your hardest not to aggrevate or confront people on the phone.

Things you can do to avoid these calls

- get a receptionist to answer the callls for you - Recpetionists are also able to screen emails. They usually charge $100 per hour per booking they get you as a base rate and most of them will pay for your advertising out of this money. Shop around ladies and if you aren't happy with the service they provide (eg. they can't spell so shouldn't be answering your emails, they don't have an excellent phone manner and sales skills so wont be able to represent you on your phone) then move on and find another one until you find one that works for you and you're happy with.

You will know if you need a receptionist because you will find yourself cringing and wanting to be sick everytime your phone rings. You may also find you get angry with everyone who calls you no matter how nice they are to you. You may feel really paranoid, really anxious, really scared and be doubting yourself everytime you're anywhere near your phone or when a phone booking you have taken is due at your house for his booking. Ladies refer to this as "phone phobia" and say they avoid switching on their phones, accidentaly forget to take it with them, start losing it in their house or in public and vomit when it rings.

- record ALL nuisance calls and call screen - you may put them into your phone as Ugly Mug, Time Waster, Wicky Wock, Rude etc. Most ladies will have several different classifications they use. If they are REALLY quiet and someone is a constant No Show, they will put them into their phones and only answer their phones to these numbers if they are really quiet and it wont matter if the guy no shows again because nothing else is happening. Ugly Mugs are rapists etc and you should NEVER answer your phone's to these guys again.

Important Note on Caller ID

Some guys may get pissed off if you refuse to take a call from with held numbers. Don't ever feel you need to care about this no matter how quiet it is. Forget the fact the guy may not show up, may be a time waster etc, he may actually be a rapist or a murderer. When a guy books you, 99% of the time you DO NOT know his real name, who he is, where he works, where he lives, what he looks like, you know NOTHING! You will be letting this man into your home, your space, your life, so the least he can do is give you the courtesy of a phone number. Chances are it will be a pre-paid sim so wont be his real phone number, but you need his phone number at the very least. If he murders you or rapes you, the Police will need this phone number. It is a matter of courtesty and life and death at times. If you have his number, he will think twice about killing or raping you.

To this end you can take advantage of the services offered by your telco. This option should minimize the number of nuisance calls in the first instance and will certainly allow you to discourage further calls.

Calling Number Display or caller ID, allows you to identify the number from which an incoming call is made - unless the caller has exercised the option of having their number blocked. In order to overcome the problem of blocked numbers you simply have a publicly announced policy of not accepting blocked calls - for secuity reasons. This paractice is very common all over the world.

The caller can easily disable his number blocking for an individual call simply by switching his phone option to send his caller ID or by dialling 1832 before your number, so the only reason for not providing you with access to his number is the caller's desire not to do so. Given that his number will be obtained by you prior to your confirming details of the booking, and the vast majority of clients know this, there really should be no problem with unblocking.

For details about the Telstra service go to:

http://www.telstra.com.au/unwelcome-calls/index.htm

Similar services are available from Optus and Vodaphone.

There are other options also available from the telcos (Call Return, Smart Ring, CALLback, CALLscreen, CALLminder etc), in addition to call number identification, and it might be worth discussing them with a representative if you're having dramas.

Text Messaging

- many ladies will not allow bookings to be made via text message, other ladies will only take bookings via text messages. I personally refuse to take bookings via text message because I feel safer hearing the guys voice before I agree to a booking. Hearing a voice is part of my safety screening process ie. I check it isn't my father or other relation booking me! I also find 99% of the time people text message me for a booking, I end up having to swap 20 text messages before a booking is made and then 99% of the time, they no show! It just cost me $10 to have someone no show on me. If you are going to take bookings via text, I suggest you set a limit on the amount of text messages your prepared to send and receive, before you either demand he makes a booking or you give up.

For the Boys

hellooo gentlemen :) I suppose by reading the above information it has made you all terribly paranoid, pissed off etc - eeck! That is not the intention of this article at all. By reading the above, we hope it helps you understand where a lady is coming from when taking calls, the type of calls she has to deal with and how she handles calls. It might be easiest to give you a few examples of how to avoid the lady thinking your a time waster or nuisance caller...

- If you call a lady and you have 20 questions to ask her, try cutting down the list to 5 and she will usually be more than happy to answer them. Try and identify the 5 most important things you are looking for when you see a lady and ask those questions. To cut down on the number of questions you need to ask, research the lady and if her website and 20 reviews tells you she does something, she generally will or will be open to discussing it with you.

- If you want to have extended conversations with the lady (ie. 20 minute phonecalls), be aware the lady may get a little warey of this so make a good will suggestion. For many of my overnight bookings or gents who book 4 - 6 hours for 3 - 5 days running in a single week, they may want to be absolutely sure I am lovely and may want to begin getting excited about the booking before it happens. These gents will generally put a deposit in my bank account to let me know they are genuine and not getting hours worth of emails or phonecalls out of me when they have no intention of turning up.

- if a lady says to you "I can't talk now because I'm in public/with my family/at uni" respect that and either make a time to call back later or don't ask really explicit questions she cannot answer in front of others

- try not to make your phonecalls really sexually explicit

- if you have made a booking with a lady 2 or more times and cancelled each time, next time you contact her to try and set up a time again, tell her that you are more than happy to put a deposit into a bank account for her.

- if you can't make a booking let her know with as much advance notice as possible

- don't call on a with held/private number

- don't call her from 10 different phone numbers

- don't ask personal questions

- don't begin gossiping about other girls or the industry and asking her opinion on these issues

Final Thing

Ladies get a feel for time waster calls and emails. After you have been working for a while, you will find you can spot them within 2 - 3 minutes of answering your phone. The most important thing to remember is to trust your gut instinct if you're not in the middle of having a "phone phobia" episode. Some guys may ask alot of questions because they want to verify the information on a website or in a review is correct. To comabt this I have heard alot of ladies answer their phones and say to the guy things like "I just want to let you know the pictures you have seen are current and what I really do look like and if you don't agree when you see me, you are free to leave. The services/fantasy's I have in my advertising are correct and I enjoy doing them, so when you're here we can enjoy them together". This simple statement can cut out alot of the questions and help to identify a time waster more quickly. I suppose the trick is to try and listen to other ladies taking calls or ask them how they identify time wasters and nuisance callers. This will help you to develop you hooker spidey senses and learn skills to spot them. Above all don't be paranoid or think the worst of guys, just be wary and have your hooker spidey senses activated.

Take care of yourselves lovely ladies and trust yourselves :) Gents please forgive us our foibles... we're just trying to keep safe and make sure we can pay the bills :)

written by Sydney Escort Lucy Blake; site design and maintenance by Lucy Blake; Copyright Lucy Blake www.lucy-blake.com 2009 - 2011