Condoms

                                                                                                                      
Types of condoms

condoms vary in size, shape, texture, color, what they are made out of, what kind of lube they have on them, if they have lube on them, packaging, size variants depending on country you buy them in, all manner of differences. So I suppose the best way to go about it is to take each of these things apart one at a time.

Size and Shape:

Once upon a time condoms came in 3 basic sizes in Australia - small, medium and large. Things have come a long way however, so now you can get condoms in many different shapes and sizes.

 You can tell the difference in the shape by looking at the side of the condom box  where there's always a little picture showing you the shape of the condom.

Common size and shaped condoms include:

flared condoms

• flared condoms are generally the same size at the base of the condom as an average size condom and are the same length. 
• Where they differ is they flare all the way up the side/shaft of the condom.
• These condoms are good for men who have a penis with a thicker shaft 
• If you find the sides of an average sized condom is very restrictive or very tight to the point your concerned it may break, but at the base of the penis the condom fits well, then this is the condom for you
• It flares out so it allows a minimum of about an extra 2cm in circumference in the shaft.

mushrooms condoms

• mushroom condoms are the same size at the base and shaft as an average sized condom but the head of it flares out.
• designed for guys with large heads on their penis
• You can tell you may need one of these as the head of your penis will be strecthing the latex to the point of it being uncomfortable or almost bursting.
• also good for people who may ejaculate alot of cum so the condom doesnt capture all of the cum in the tip of it. This could mean all your cum races down the edges and can push out of the bottom.

small condoms

• usually labelled 'tigher fitting'
• Companies such as Glyde however don't actually label them with a word. They label them by color. This is not a good way to work out if its a small condom however so dont rely on it.
• You can tell if you need a small condom if an average condom is to large. Basically if the condom slips off or if its baggy on your penis when it's fully erect, then you need to go down a size.
• Nominal width about 49mm

medium condom

• are labelled many things (Ansell labels them Checkmate). The label will change depending on flaring, how thick the condom is, if its studded etc. For example one company names average sized condoms anything from Rough Rider (I think they are studded), BareBack (very think latex), Ice (have a chemical in them that makes it feel like your getting a listerine headjob), but basically they are all the same size.
• The vast majority of condoms are this size.
• Nominal width about 52mm
  

large condoms

• are named all manner of things as well. You can tell you need one of these if a sex worker has ever looked at your dick and said 'oooooow is so big, you cum now'. Hmmm or you can tell if a girl has ever refused to have sex with you, if she has turned pale when you pull your penis out, if no-one picked on you at school, if a girl is unable to deep throat you and you find it hard to get a decent head job. You can also tell, if a condom is tight, is threatening to burst, leaves bruises or a red line on your dick when you put it on and if the cum does not fit in the condom.
• Nominal width about 56mm - 50mm
  

Femidoms

• are condoms designed for woman to use on themselves
• they are very expensive and are a hard to get item, in that not many chemists or supermarkets stock them. They cheapest you'll get them is about $5 each and they usually either have to be ordered online, or you can get them from FPA Health
• As far as I can work out, they are inserted a bit like a diaphragm. They are the shape of a garbage bag or an extremely large condom. At one end they have a hard but still bendy ring encircling the rim of the end you insert inside yourself. On the end which is the opening and sits outside the body, they have another less thick and more plyable plastic ring. You have to insert the end with no opening inside your vagina. Many woman have serious issues trying to insert them because they are covered in a very slippery lube so they can be hard to get a grip on. The plastic rings on them can also be very difficult to bend so you can insert them.

They now give these out in South Africa, India etc rather than condoms to woman as the men were being openly abusive if they were asked to wear condoms. They are so good the men dont even know the woman have them in so it cuts down the rate of HIV transmission in these countries. In many countries, sex workers would be bashed at the very least if they asked clients to wear condoms. In many countries woman would be bashed at the very least if they ask their husbands or partners to wear condoms. This way woman are able to protect themselves without being abused for it.

What condoms are made of

Most condoms in Australia are made out of latex. Most of the Ansell, Four Seasons etc you find in the chemist will be latex condoms. They are a highly effective barrier to sperm and micro organisms including HIV and the even smaller HepB virus. You must only use water based lubricants with them.

Sythetic condoms - these are for people who are allergic to latex and suprisingly there are many woman allergic to latex. There are several different types of materials being used to make them including polyurethane and Tactylon which is a synthetic latex. They are a effective as a barrier against sperm, HIV and bacteria. They feel very different to latex condoms when you touch them, but men report they feel better because they supposedly transmit heat alot better so they give a feel of more 'natural' sex. Personally I hate them because they feel crinkly and scratch a bit.

Lambskin Condoms - these are condoms made out of animal membrane. They have tiny holes in them so they are not an effective barrier to HIV or any other STI, but can act as protection from pregnancy. Sex workers who have used these because they are allergic to latex report they STINK and they can't get the smell of them off for days after they use them. They also look UGLY!

Novelty Condoms - these should be used for sexual play and/or amusement only and should never be used for HIV and to avoid pregnancy. In the US the FDA does not allow novelty condoms to be labelled as "condoms".

Ice Condoms - I just wanted to make a special note on Ice Condoms which are the condoms that have a heating lube on them. Ice condoms are PURE EVIL! I have spoken to many many sex worker who have used them when they first came out and there was nothing but trouble reported. All of the girls I spoke to got thrush from them and more than one lady I spoke to got irrate phonecalls the day after they saw a client accusing them of giving the guy an STI as his dick had swollen up and gone red. The guy thought it was an STI where it was really a reaction from the ice lube dabbed in the tip of the condom. I would NEVER use one of these or the Ice lube they sell with them. If your desperate for the feeling, get the lady to put a listerine strip in the tip of the condom and a dab of lube. It gives the same sensation without the rash in my experience. Before using Ice condoms (Four Seasons I think), or warming lube and condoms, I would skin test them first. Dab a bit on the skin, leave it half an hour and check to see you havent got something that looks like an STI on your penis the next day.

The Importance of Fitting a Condom

Fitting a condom is vital. If it's not fitted properly, then there is not point in wearing it in the first place. You can tell if a condom fits pretty much the same way as you can tell if a pair of gloves fit your hands:

1. it should fit your dick in without stretching the condom or having to fight with the condom to get it on
2. it should fit your entire dick in, not ride half way up your dick
3. it should not cut off the circulation to your dick around the base, shaft or nob of your dick
4. they should not look so tight that they look like they are going to burst because the rubber is stretching so much
5. they should not be slipping off your dick - if you can slip it up easily, or if you stand up and it starts to slip off, then the condom is too large
6. if you get a red ring around the base of your dick where the base of the condom is, then the condom is to small. A condom should not mark your skin at all.

How to find a condom that fits you

Sex workers will be able to take one look at your dick and know which condom fits you. Most sex workers carry at least 4 different sizes and shapes as well as condoms made out of different rubber. If you are comfortable enough, you can ask the lady you are seeing to TELL YOU THE TRUTH about what size condom she is using on you (hahaha good luck with that - you all soooo biiiiig lol). If you don't feel comfortable doing this, the next best way is to experiment.

To experiment with condoms just go to a chemist, sex shop or jump online and buy a variety fo different sizes and shapes. If you buy them online, many of the sites have fun packs that have a mulititude of different sizes, shapes and colors. If you do it with your partner it can be hilarious and an awesome way to have a pre-bonking giggle. If you want to get technical about it because your embarassed to buy a whole heap of different sizes, you can measure the dimensions of your penis. On the sides of all the boxes of condoms, they have the measurements or the dimensions of the condom. They give the dimensions of the base, the shaft and the nob, so take 3 measurements and match it to the side image on the box.

  Sampler pack from http://www.condomcountry.com.au

Negotiating Condom Use

This can be a serious issue. Not so much with sex workers and clients, but certainly has been everytime I've had sex in a 'normal' situation.  I have spoken to a few chemists about condoms and they report they are the slowest moving item in the shop. I have spoken to many average woman and they dont use condoms either as they believe STIs only happen to gay men, so the only issue for them is pregnancy so they are all on the pill to avoid that and have no need for condoms. This means it is very important to be able to negotiate condom use with someone. Some people I have spoken to will take offense if you ask them to use a condom as they take it as an insult with you implying they are diseased. It is important to be able to come up with tactics to negotiate these feelings and situations.

Depending on your personality you can negotiate with humour, use of statistics, say you are health conscious, tell them you have a wife (hahahaa be sure to report back on this blog what she says to that one), or you could carry weird condoms like a vibrating one or colored ones and pull it out and introduce it as a fun sex game to play. If you do it this wat then there is no need for uncomfortable discussion. Everyone loves to laugh so give them a laugh.

If someone refuses to use a condom then it is up to you if you choose to go on and have sex with them. You know the risks, so it's your choice.

Safe Usage

Safe condom usage involves a few issues. Sex workers will be vigilant of the following safety issues:

1. using the condom that best fits you
2. knowing how to put one on properly
3. putting it on at the right time - a lady and gent may want to use them for headjobs or only sex. If you're having a massage and bodyslide, a lady will want to put a condom on a guys dick as soon as she turns the gent over. This is because she wont want to get oil on your dick or the condom will slip off.
4. overuse of the condom - sex workers may want to swap condoms every now and then because if they are overused then they can break. You can usually tell if they are going to break because they stretch out of shape and / or become crinkly like cellophane.
5. a lady will want to swap condoms if you rub up against her bottom with it on - this is because everyone has bacteria living on the outside of their bottoms even if they disinfect it before sex. This bacteria if it comes in contact with the vagina can cause Urinary Tract Infections and other nasty things. It doesn't matter how clean a bottom is, you cannot get rid of the bacteria so it will happen.
6. sex workers will check how much lube is on the condom - woman are not able to produce enough lube to deal with the friction a condom creates. Having sex with a condom causes friction which causes a condom to burst. They faster the sex is, the harder the sex is, the longer it goes on for, the greater the friction, the more lube you need to use or the condom will burst or you will give the lady a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). If lube is being used, it is not a reflection on how horny she is, so don't get offended if she needs to keep applying lube - its a friction issue not a horny issue.
7. DO NOT keep bonking once you have cum in the condom -  If the lady suspects you have cum and not told her, she will pull you out of her and check. If you have cum and not told her YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT! Expect to be yelled at and then banned from ever seeing her again. She may even pass your details onto other ladies as a warning. Sex workers take this issue VERY seriously because if you keep bonking after you cum, you push the cum down the edges of the condom so it gets all over the lady and inside the lady. A guys dick also goes down after they cum so the condom may slip off.
8. safe disposal of the condom - a lady will dispose of the condom by wrapping it up in tissues and throwing it in a garbage bin. Don't jump up and flush it down the toilet or you will clog her toilet which will annoy her like you wouldn't believe.

Safe Condom Storage

To store condoms safely you need to keep them in a cold, dark place out of direct sunlight. Keeping a condom in your wallet is about the worse thing a guy can do. If a wallet is left in the sun on your dashboard or car seat while driving, the condom will start disintegrating causing it to break. If you put a condom in your waller, put it in your back pocket and sit on it, the condom will heat up causing it to disintegrate. If you want to carry a condom be careful of how you carry it, where you carry it and how long for.

Ladies will know to store their condoms in cold, dark places in their apartments.

Knowing when a condom is Safe to use

There are certain things sex workers take into consideration when considering if a condom is safe to use. These considerations include:

1. they will always check where they have been stored - this is why they generally wont use one of yours if you bring it with you unless they know you well
2. if the packaging is intact and in good shape
3. the expiry date on the side of it - condoms cannot be sold when they are 6 months out from expiry as they are not considered as safe to use
4. where the condom came from - Australia has a very strict TGA or Therapeutic Goods Approval process where they are tested
5. branding or label of condom and if condom suits use - if doing anal a sex worker will use a thicker condom as it is harder sex on the condom

What alternate uses do condoms have?

Fingering or finger gloves - girls will slip them on their finger if you ask them to insert a finger into your bottom and they dont have a glove handy. Ladies have to be careful though because a finger nail can split them and they don't fit properly so they can slip off. Often Ladies will use them istead of gloves as guys get terrified if you pull out a latex glove (chickens pfft.)

CockRings or tourniquetes - Sex workers will punch a hole in the end of one in the size down from the one she has on you ie. if you take an average sized condom, she will use a small one as a cockring. Once she has put a whole in the end, it basically resembles a rubber band, she will then place it around the base of your dick. This will make it so you are able to maintain an erection or will help you to achieve one. Basically if it is on tight enough but not to tight, the blood will rush in but not rush out so your dick will get hard. If it is to tight the blood wont rush in either so it has to be on just right. I would always use a condom over a cockring as I can gaurantee it will come off without pulling out a knife to chop it off and because they are disposable.

Dental Dams - ladies will use them in place of a dental dam if they dont have access to one. They will basically cut down the side of one or break one and stretch it out across a guys butt and lick on top of it. Rimming is a HepA risk so if a sex worker does this to you, it is a good thing not to be frowned upon as it means she is STI conscious

Party Tricks - there's hours of entertainment learning how to put one over your head and blowing it up. SUPER COOL TRICK!

  dickhead hehehee

Where to get condoms and dental dams

Main stream easy access - chemists, supermarkets, vending machines in mens toilets (I'm yet to see any in womans toilets - we get stuck with tampon machines and feramone wipes). They all cost the same amount in all of these places. A chemist is just as expensive as a supermarket.

Online - if you like to buy in bulk or like to buy hard to get condoms (eg. femidoms), I would suggest buying them online. When purchasing them however, I always find out where they are coming from and how they transport them. I would never order online from anywhere that did not have a local shipping centre or especially from an overseas site. This is because when they ship them they cant gaurantee me they will not sit in sunlight or stay below a certain temperature to stop them disintegrating.

Buying online generally means you buy in bulk which means they get much cheaper. For example I can buy 144 Ansell condoms online for $20 instead of $8 for a box of 12 in a Chemist or supermarket.

When I buy online I always call the supplier and find out where the condoms will be coming from, how they are shipped, care taken when getting them to me and quiz them on how they are stored. The best guys I have come across are these people:

http://www.condomcountry.com.au

I liked using condomcountry because they are based a half an hour drive from me, they were able to tell me the expiry date on the condoms, they told me where they were stored and how, they pack and deliver them the same day I ordered them and they were able to deliver them to my door within 2 hours of me placing the order - yup we love them :) They were able to give me all this info over the phone.

Freebie condoms - STI Clinics, NSP's, Community Health Centres, ACON, Family Planning all stock them and give them out for free. STI Clinics give them away for free, so next time your going for an STI check up, grab a handful from the basket in the room where your getting tested. All of these places do give them away for free, although they may have limits on the amount they will give out. The usual limit is 20 per person and be sure to ask for some free tubes or sachets of lube while your there.

Sex Worker Organisations - depending on the State your in, it will vary on how many you can get for free, how much they charge if buying them in bulk, how many they will sell you and the variety of stock. For example at SWOP in NSW you can have 20 free condoms, 5 latex gloves ad 1 tube of lube if your a girl, or 2 tubes of lube if your a boy for free. They will only allow you to buy 2 boxes of 144 Ansell condoms at once, but your allowed to buy as many boxes of Glyde condoms as you like. Stoopid rule I know. In SA the sex worker org sells EVERYTHING with no limit. This is because the SA organisation gets most of its funds to run by selling condoms etc. SWOP in Sydney on the other hand is funded thru HIV money so they don't need to sell condoms. It's also a safety issue for SWOP because the stuff don't want to have to carry large amounts of cash with them from the sales of condoms when they are on outreach.  If you get condoms from these places you are pretty much gauranteed they are stored properly and have a high turn over, so stock rotates and is cleared frequently.

Brothels and Swingers Clubs - these places legally need to supply ALL of the condoms. They should be readily available, they should be abundant and they should be FREE. Many brothels charge girls for condoms which is ILLEGAL. Under WorkCover Guidelines and in order for them to get DA they need to have this written in to their guidelines.

Buying Condoms Overseas -  I have found in Asian countries (like Thailand), when I buy a box of condoms labeled medium/average size condom they are always small by Australian standards. They will have the exact same packaging as they do in Australia, but when you get them out they are what we would label 'tighter fitting'. Soooo when buying condoms overseas I would always get a few different sizes as you never know what size your really getting. The other problem I found when in Asia was how they store condoms. I have seen a few chemists in Asia where the temperature was well above 30 degrees in the shop, which is not safe condom storage. I think when travelling the best option is to take them with you and only buy them in emergencies. For travelling business men who like to go to Asia to punt, I suggest taking your own condoms by buying them at the airport before you leave if you can't store them at home. 

Condom Slippages and Breakage

For information on this issue, please see the following link to take you to the page on this site that deals with it:

http://sensualdownunder.wik.is/Health/STIs/Condom_Breakage

Lube use and Condoms:

A condom is only half the equiment needed for safer sex. Lube is VITAL when bonking with a condom. It doesn't matter how wet the girl is, you should ALWAYS use lube. Sex workers always do everything for a reason, so if they choose to use lube its for your own comfort and safety. When you are using condoms there is a massive amount of friction. No matter how wet the lady is, within 5 minutes of beginning sex she will be dry from the friction. It is simply not possible for a girl to produce enough cum to have safe sex with a condom. The lube acts to cut down on the friction. If this does not happen the condom will break and you will give her a UTI. Lube is vital.

Please see the following link to the lube information page on this site:

http://sensualdownunder.wik.is/Health/Safer_Sex_Supplies/Lube

Spermicidal Condom Warning

Nonoxynol 9 is a spermicide that kills HIV in laboratory testing, however it has been proven that nonoxynol-9 actually increases the risk of transmission of HIV and other STIs outside of the laboratory. There has even been a recent push in the US to have the substance banned altogether. This means nonoxynol-9 should not be used during sex and condoms coated in it should not be used. If you see a condom packaging say it carries a spermicide DO NOT USE IT.   

Helpful Links

http://aids.about.com/od/safersex/Safer_Sex.htm

http://www.fpahealth.org.au/

http://www.condomcountry.com.au/

http://www.condomsaustralia.com.au/[1]

Thankyou to http://www.condomcountry.com.au , http://www.fpahealth.org.au for assistance with pictures 

THE END

WOOHOOOOO